Recipe for Cooking Husbands

Ingredients

• one called duty is apt to be weak
• vinegar
• pepper

Directions

1. One of the lecturers before the Baltimore cooking school gave the following recipe for cooking husbands :

2. "A good many husbands are utterly spoiled by mismanage- ment. Some women go about it as if their husbands were bladders, and blow them up. Others keep them constantly in hot water. Others let them freeze by their carelessness and indifference. Some keep them in a stew by irritating ways and words; others roast them. Some keep them in pickle all their lives. It cannot be supposed that any husband will be tender and good, managed in this way, but they will be truly delicious when properly treated. In selecting your husband you should not be guided by the silvery appearance, as in buy- ing mackerel, nor by the golden tint, as if you wanted salmon. Be sure to select him yourself, as tastes differ. Do not go to the market for him as the best are always brought to your door. It is far better to have none unless you will patiently learn how to cook him. A preserving kettle of the finest porcelain is the best, but if you have nothing but an earthenware pipkin it will do with care. See that the line in which you wrap him is nicely washed and mended, with the required number of buttons and strings tightly sewed on. Tie him in the kettle with a strong silk cord called comfort, as the one called duty is apt to be weak. Make a clear, steady fire out of love, neatness and cheerfulness. Set him as near this as seems to agree with him. If he sputters and frizzes do not be anxious ; some husbands do this until they are quite done. Add a little sugar in the form of what confec- tioners call kisses, but no vinegar or pepper on any account. A little spice improves him, but it must be used with judgment. Do not stick any sharp instruments into him to see if he is be- coming tender. Stir him gently, wat

3. MISCELLANEOUS

4. FOll RATTLESNAKE BITE.

5. Apply soda slightly moistened to make a paste to the wound. When it becomes discolored, remove and put on a fresh appli- cation until the soda ceases to be discolored. — Contributed.

Nutrition, whole recipe (rough)

What these numbers assume: 2 portions

Ingredient	Portion assumed	kcal
Black Pepper	1 tsp ground (2.3g)	6
Vinegar	1 tbsp (15ml) distilled	3

One typical portion per ingredient; the recipe's quantities are not counted. A rough guide only, not for medical or dietary planning.